I'm a troubled soul.
Here's my story in a concise form.
I am 27, working graduate and dating a 27 year old working graduate too. 5 months into our relationship, my girlfriend became pregnant.
She expected that I come see her people ASAP as they will lose their heads on finding out. But I'm not just ready to settle down yet... at least not until the next 2-3 years or so.
Meanwhile she has someone disturbing her ever since we started dating. The guy claims to be madly in love with her as he wants marriage according to him. Now my girl told him it can't work based on her condition and he still persisted he doesn't mind and will marry her and take care of the baby as his'.
I swore to my girl that I will never be alive and see my child growing up to think another man is its father; so she said she will have to terminate the pregnancy. After some thought, I felt guilty at the prospects of the baby losing the chance to live because of my ego and strong-headiness. So I asked her to keep the baby but I will be in its life and she agreed. But the baby will grow in the foster parent's house.
Baby will be due in January 2018 and the new guy is planning to settle down with her. I haven't told my Parents and don't think I will because they won't take it lightly as I am the only son plus my mom has been pushing me to settle down since but I don't want to rush into marriage as I will definitely rush out frustrated if I marry when I'm not yet ready to do so.
I just feel like I failed my unborn child already by denying it the opportunity to grow up properly under its father's tutelage. I really wanted to be 100% involved in any of my child's life and early development moreso my first child.
My girl said she's ready to wait till anytime I'm ready but she's a woman with a biological time ticking down furiously. I wouldn't want to waste her time really so I advised her to give the new guy a chance and eventually she will grow to love him.
Nowadays, I walk around feeling like the world is hanging on my shoulders.
Any mature advice will be immensely appreciated.
Here's my story in a concise form.
I am 27, working graduate and dating a 27 year old working graduate too. 5 months into our relationship, my girlfriend became pregnant.
She expected that I come see her people ASAP as they will lose their heads on finding out. But I'm not just ready to settle down yet... at least not until the next 2-3 years or so.
Meanwhile she has someone disturbing her ever since we started dating. The guy claims to be madly in love with her as he wants marriage according to him. Now my girl told him it can't work based on her condition and he still persisted he doesn't mind and will marry her and take care of the baby as his'.
I swore to my girl that I will never be alive and see my child growing up to think another man is its father; so she said she will have to terminate the pregnancy. After some thought, I felt guilty at the prospects of the baby losing the chance to live because of my ego and strong-headiness. So I asked her to keep the baby but I will be in its life and she agreed. But the baby will grow in the foster parent's house.
Baby will be due in January 2018 and the new guy is planning to settle down with her. I haven't told my Parents and don't think I will because they won't take it lightly as I am the only son plus my mom has been pushing me to settle down since but I don't want to rush into marriage as I will definitely rush out frustrated if I marry when I'm not yet ready to do so.
I just feel like I failed my unborn child already by denying it the opportunity to grow up properly under its father's tutelage. I really wanted to be 100% involved in any of my child's life and early development moreso my first child.
My girl said she's ready to wait till anytime I'm ready but she's a woman with a biological time ticking down furiously. I wouldn't want to waste her time really so I advised her to give the new guy a chance and eventually she will grow to love him.
Nowadays, I walk around feeling like the world is hanging on my shoulders.
Any mature advice will be immensely appreciated.
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